How To Support People In Career Transition

On numerous occasions I’ve been asked for recommendations on how to support a loved one or friend who is in career transition. I am providing a few general tips along with a second article that describes the phases of a career transition that most people experience and it includes what people generally need to know and what may be useful to them during each phase.

The key to supporting others is this: remember no one is exactly alike, what you may define as supportive may not be viewed in the same way by your friend or loved one. Each person is unique, what one person may find valuable another person may find disruptive or shaming. Keeping this in mind, here are some general suggestions that have proved highly beneficial to my clients over the years.

General Recommendations
• Prepare yourself to listen without giving advice
• Ask the individual if they want your advice or recommendations, before ever giving them
• Practice active listening by paraphrasing what you hear, not what you think
• Consider scheduling a regular time to check-in with their career transition process
• Agree to what topics will be discussed during these regular check-ins
• If this person needs to vent a great deal, suggest a time limit for venting so the focus can be highlighted on what is working for this person
• Ask these questions: “What does support look like to you?” or “How can I help you?”
• Set boundaries for how you will participate at each career transition phase (see information about career phases)
• Be sure to work on keeping your own faith and positive attitude

Avoid
• Judging the person’s emotions
• Offering an opinion or critique without gaining permission from the individual
• Participating in conversations that make the person’s feelings a factual reality
• Telling the person what they need to do, such as: “You need to…”
• Asking questions each day such as: “Did you hear back from so-and-so yet?”
• Asking: “Are you still searching?” or “Haven’t you found something yet?”
• Victimizing or feeling sorry for the person in career transition
• Summarizing the person’s career story in a dramatic way, such as: “It’s awful, you have such a hard time when it comes to your career…”

It is often important to seek outside counsel and support from others who care, yet do not have a familial or historical bond with the person in transition. Remember no one transitions alone.